Dear Marketing Agency…

I’m getting a little tired of all of the Emails and cold calling happening recently. Every morning, I open my inbox and it’s jam-packed full of messages trying to sell me services – anything ranging from SEO and social media, to call-center staffing, Email campaigns, database lists and advertising. It’s no wonder why most of your Emails don’t even get opened. Or if they do, they promptly end up in the trash.

When I’m not deleting your Emails, I’m answering calls from you. You fire off on your script, without taking pause or asking questions. It’s like I’m being shouted at by the headmaster all over again. It’s no wonder why I’ve been avoiding calls being forwarded to me from the front desk.

Despite this, I feel bad about the situation. So I wanted to take this opportunity to help out a little with some pointers that would help save both of us some time here.

Find out what I actually do

Please at least try to figure out what I do first. It’s really not that hard; I have profiles all over the Interwebz. If you specialize in services that target the right people within organizations, then why are you asking me to forward your message to the right person in my organization? I’m not a hub. I also don’t forward crap to my colleagues like some kind of dirty chain letter that no-one wants to receive.

Awards don’t impress me

Well done for winning that artsy-fartsy award five years ago, but it doesn’t mean that much to me.  And unfortunately, I don’t have a gazzillion dollar budget to help you win your next one either. I know that campaigns that focus on generating leads aren’t sexy and won’t win me any silverware, but it keeps me in a job. So rather than spend $10 million on some “chest-thumping” Super Bowl-like advert that makes us feel good, I would rather focus on programs that help drive actual business, which helps me pay the bills and go on nice holidays.

You, you, you. But what about me?

What is it that you can do for me, again? Did you even take the time to look at my company’s website or even do a little bit of research? Did you ask me questions to understand what keeps me up at night? Or share examples of how you can help me overcome the headaches I’ve been facing so I can blow away my targets and look like a hero? If not, then please move along.

I know this whole process is draining on the both of us. But if you can at least start off the conversation with something that is specific and relevant to me, and something that is meaningful for my situation, it will really help to set yourself apart from all of the noise that’s out there. If you figure it out, then let’s talk. This is marketing after all.